People, Marriages & Social Media
PART -I
Been almost a month, since I last wrote, so obviously itch to touch more scary topics.. what's scarier than people, marriage and social media?
I ran a poll on Instagram recently to ask people what should I write on, between people & marriage. The numbers were pretty close that's why combining this along with our very favourite social media.
We all are exhausted managing people at work, family and in life generally. When did people become so exhausting for all of us? It all went wrong when we started labelling people as Forever Item. Forever is the biggest lie, friendships only last as long as the pages are the same and it is convenient. People will not put up with you if they don't understand you or connect with you. You may be an awesome person but you will never come across as a good person to others who are not willing to explore you beyond your facades. It all started, when we started deriving our happiness, validation and peace of mind from the fact of how many people like or “double-tap” us.
People will love you today and will move to the next best thing the next day, you cannot blame them. Nobody wants to stick around when it is not serving them. I know we all are brought up in a way that respect means to be put up with things you don't even like. People can respect you, love you and still not be there for you. Normalize not having expectations. You are doing anyone a favour by not expecting anything from them, you are just being NORMAL.
We all got so drunk on this idea that people will stick forever, serve us and grow us wherein all of this has to come from within. We are machines with enough resources inside us to survive alone. There is an awakening in the fact that you were born ALONE.
We may not all be loners, but we all need to reduce our interactions and interventions broadly dependency on people to really be ourselves. Half of us don't even know ourselves as much as we are dying to know people? Why though.
I for a very long time looked out for happiness in people, in my personal experience, I have only observed people can love you today, tomorrow but not always. When that love/respect is withdrawn, you feel like an Afghan in the US.
We all are running away from our darkness, hiding it in alcohol, food, GYM or social media. The moment we start getting comfortable with ourselves and find peace alone is the time we are ready to open up to people. In my early 20s, I was a girl dying to be liked and loved by people, I wanted to be everyone’s favourite, their go-to person, their agony aunt and what did I end up becoming is completely opposite.
You are an equipped human being in yourself to not need people to survive. Stop draining your energy on figuring others out, that's not your job. People will trade your vulnerabilities for their past time, jokes and just a good time. People are not good times, learn to be comfortable in not having plans on a Friday night.
My most personal and honest observation of life is, the more I depend on people, less they need me. Read that again.
You never really are important for someone as much as you believe and I don't say this with bitterness, I say this with respect for all of us because we all have been on both sides. Sometimes, “avoider” and sometimes “Avoidee” ( Yes, I made up those words). I have been avoidee for all my 20s, in my 30s I understood those people, their need for personal space, their respect for their own routines because today I will also choose my CHAI time over some random drunk night.
While, we tread our paths and we come across so many people to date, befriend and know. We always are looking to end up with that ONE PERSON.
Biggest Gamble of our lives and how it changes us for life…more to come!
To be continued…
